On the surface, sexy seems elusive, impossible to quantify. To play out this hunch, I asked people all over the country to tell me what "sexy" meant to them. And I found something interesting.
Turns out, "sexy" is a kooky amalgam of easily defined elements. So let’s break down the semi-universally agreed upon elements of sex appeal, shall we?
Looks. We’re all visually stimulated, so naturally "sexy" involves some level of physical attraction. But what attracts one person may repel another. For Mihail, an entrepreneur from the Bay Area, "Sexy means eyes that pierce yours, lips that exude sexuality, clothes that hang off you just right." For Flora, a Seattle-based writer, "Sexy is a couple of tattoos and a motorcycle." For me, it’s great hair and mischievous eyes.
Smarts. Brainpower gets high marks even out of the classroom. "When a woman’s intellect matches up with mine—or even slightly exceeds it—it’s very sexy," says Bob, a Hartford banker. "It makes her a little mysterious. I could really learn something from her. And you know how guys are always hot for teacher." Darren, a Long Island-based college student, boils it down further. "Someone who has nothing particularly interesting to say is simply not sexy." Personally, I find intellectual stimulation to be very exciting.
Laughs. Everybody likes to laugh, especially women. Studies show that chicks dig guys who possess good senses of humor. No one’s really sure why. But hang on, fellas. Don’t go signing up for that stand-up comedy workshop down at the community college just yet. "It’s not about a routine or shtick," says Lisa, a graduate student at the University of Chicago. "That backfires most of the time because it’s so rehearsed. I’m talking about honest humor—whether it’s dry Brit wit or outrageous physical comedy." If a guy can’t get a laugh from me, he’s probably not going to get anything else either.
Confidence. Perhaps the ne plus ultra of that je ne sais quoi. "Confidence is being okay with who you are, accepting of yourself," says Chad, an L.A actor. "A confident person knows where he is, who he is and what he wants. And he’s doing what it takes to get it." For me, confidence is knowing your own power, gifts and flaws and embracing them without apology or arrogance.
On its own, any of these attributes might be enough to get you interested in someone. But the real magic happens when you meet someone with all of these elements in just the right proportions.
What makes sexy different for each of us, however, is our unique blend of the individual elements. We each tailor the recipe to our own tastes. You might put a higher value on humor than looks, which is why the person your friend finds dead sexy doesn’t elicit the same response from you.
Lynne, a PR professional from Austin, explains it this way: "It’s like working in chemistry class. You get 'just a little bit of this', add 'just enough of that' and then 'just the right amount of the last ingredient,' and it goes BOOSH!" - from Margot Carmichael Lester, Match.com
Turns out, "sexy" is a kooky amalgam of easily defined elements. So let’s break down the semi-universally agreed upon elements of sex appeal, shall we?
Looks. We’re all visually stimulated, so naturally "sexy" involves some level of physical attraction. But what attracts one person may repel another. For Mihail, an entrepreneur from the Bay Area, "Sexy means eyes that pierce yours, lips that exude sexuality, clothes that hang off you just right." For Flora, a Seattle-based writer, "Sexy is a couple of tattoos and a motorcycle." For me, it’s great hair and mischievous eyes.
Smarts. Brainpower gets high marks even out of the classroom. "When a woman’s intellect matches up with mine—or even slightly exceeds it—it’s very sexy," says Bob, a Hartford banker. "It makes her a little mysterious. I could really learn something from her. And you know how guys are always hot for teacher." Darren, a Long Island-based college student, boils it down further. "Someone who has nothing particularly interesting to say is simply not sexy." Personally, I find intellectual stimulation to be very exciting.
Laughs. Everybody likes to laugh, especially women. Studies show that chicks dig guys who possess good senses of humor. No one’s really sure why. But hang on, fellas. Don’t go signing up for that stand-up comedy workshop down at the community college just yet. "It’s not about a routine or shtick," says Lisa, a graduate student at the University of Chicago. "That backfires most of the time because it’s so rehearsed. I’m talking about honest humor—whether it’s dry Brit wit or outrageous physical comedy." If a guy can’t get a laugh from me, he’s probably not going to get anything else either.
Confidence. Perhaps the ne plus ultra of that je ne sais quoi. "Confidence is being okay with who you are, accepting of yourself," says Chad, an L.A actor. "A confident person knows where he is, who he is and what he wants. And he’s doing what it takes to get it." For me, confidence is knowing your own power, gifts and flaws and embracing them without apology or arrogance.
On its own, any of these attributes might be enough to get you interested in someone. But the real magic happens when you meet someone with all of these elements in just the right proportions.
What makes sexy different for each of us, however, is our unique blend of the individual elements. We each tailor the recipe to our own tastes. You might put a higher value on humor than looks, which is why the person your friend finds dead sexy doesn’t elicit the same response from you.
Lynne, a PR professional from Austin, explains it this way: "It’s like working in chemistry class. You get 'just a little bit of this', add 'just enough of that' and then 'just the right amount of the last ingredient,' and it goes BOOSH!" - from Margot Carmichael Lester, Match.com
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